


wasted effort and best intentions

by everyshootingstar



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe, Dom/sub Undertones, M/M, Meet-Ugly, porn au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:28:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27155944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyshootingstar/pseuds/everyshootingstar
Summary: Nicky starts dropping after a shoot, luckily, Joe's there to help him.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 38
Kudos: 337





	wasted effort and best intentions

**Author's Note:**

> another kink meme fill [from here](https://theoldguardkinkmeme.dreamwidth.org/5552.html?thread=1934512#cmt1934512)
> 
> I'm already working on 2 other fills too like. One Day I'm gonna have an original idea haha. Also, I've only tagged this meet ugly bc when Joe and Nicky meet, Nicky's Dropping like real bad so. 
> 
> They talk it out in the end though, if you're worried about consent issues. 
> 
> find me on tumblr @ [boulangerlee](https://boulangerlee.tumblr.com)!

The soft click of the camera was something he’d never get used to he thought distantly as he rested his forearm across his eyes; the not so gentle pat against the outside of his thigh and the dip of the bed was the only indication that his partner had moved away and suddenly there was gentle nudge against one of his legs, a murmur from one of the set photographers had Nicky pressing his heel into the bed, shifting his leg further apart so they could no doubt get a shot of the come slowly leaking down his thigh.

Honestly, this wasn’t the first time he’d been left high and dry after a shoot, and it probably wouldn’t be the last either, but something about this just feels _off_. Feels _different_ and somewhat wrong and Nicky has to squeeze his eyes shut behind the safety of his arm, has to breathe in deeply to stave off the fresh wave of panic that threatens to consume him.

The after shoot interviews usually take too long and by the time Nicky’s released to go _shower_ (which thankfully he gets to do _alone_ this time, instead of with half of a camera crew and a director), he feels even worse than before, something heavy and achy in his chest.

His fingers shake as he fumbles with the taps and by the time he steps under the spray of water, he feels like he’s going to _shake_ out of his entire being, his movements stilted and mechanical as he grabs for the non-descript shower gel and scrubs at his skin until he feels less like he’s going to throw up.

Porn, despite being something he _enjoyed_ doing, was entirely too lonely for any person to have to deal with; the lack of privacy, the lack of men who’d be comfortable with their partner fucking other guys for money, the way it stretched some friendships very thin…

Nicky scrubs his fingers through his hair, not bothering to really soap his hands up, deciding that he’d showered good enough to at least get home before _whatever this was_ set in even more and made him incapable of leaving with a somewhat sound mind.

He towels off his skin and pulls on some of the extra clothes they keep in the cupboards, the material too scratchy and _too much_ against his skin, the strange feeling settling deep somewhere in his stomach as he valiantly tries not to stumble down the hallway towards the elevators, hoping he’ll be able to get down to the parking garage before he’s unable to do more than just _stew_.

“Hey man, you okay?”

Nicky’s barely able to stop himself before he collides with something warm and hard and then there’s _arms,_ gently circling his shoulders, keeping him upright and Nicky can’t help the embarrassingly loud groan that leaves his mouth.

“Whoa, hey,” he says again, and then there’s a hand cradling his cheek, “ _Oh_ , hey, you’re that guy. My assistant was taking photos of you earlier, I couldn’t be there because I had a conference call,” Nicky’s barely listening at this point, mostly focused on the heat of the man’s palm against his skin.

“—hey, hey, Nicky,” he’s vaguely aware of the fact they’re moving, “Nicky, listen to my voice, alright? My name is Joe and I need to get you somewhere comfortable, alright? I don’t know the specifics of your scene or anything, but you’re dropping pretty fast.”

Nicky thinks he tries to say something, tries to ask how the guy— _Joe_ , knows his name, tries to ask how Joe knows what subspace is, tries to say _oh shit I was dropping this whole time?_ Because he’s done a wide variety of porn in his time and the last time this hand happened had been after a scene twice as intense but they gu had _stayed_ and had helped him through it, had given him water and held him until Nicky felt less floaty and more solid.

“Nicky, are you still with me?” Joe asks and Nicky wonders how Joe’s managed to get them into one of the rooms they have set up for video and photoshoots, not that it’s a pressing question on his mind, not really, especially not when he feels the softness of a bed under his back—and he only has a moment to wonder _why_ and _how_ before he feels panic build up in him again as Joe pulls away, _leaves_ him there.

“Hey, hey no,” Joe’s saying, hand pressed against the center of Nicky’s chest, guiding him back down against the bed, “Hey I’m still here, don’t worry. I just need to grab something, alright? And lock the door. There’s not really anyone here, but no one else needs to see you like this, okay?”

Unsure of even when he’d closed his eyes, Nicky opens them slowly, a soft gasp leaving his lips when the blurriness of Joe’s face clears.

Joe’s _beautiful_ , is the only thought in his head as he meets Joe’s eyes for the first time; his beautiful and big soulful eyes and for the first time since all of this started, Nicky feels somewhat _content_.

A smile, the corners around Joe’s eyes crinkle and Nicky feels his breath leave him, “Oh there you are,” he whispers, brushing his thumb against Nicky’s cheek. “I’m going to get you some water, alright? And then I’ll come back over here and we’ll work on getting you comfortable, okay?”

All he can do is nod, his head propped up against the pillow as he watches Joe move across the room, grabbing a bottle of water from the minifridge and some sort of packaged snack before he’s coming back towards the bed, a soft little smile on his face.

The bed dips and Nicky’s vaguely aware of Joe’s heat settling behind him before he’s being pulled back against his chest, the two of them sitting up against the headboard, “I need you to take a drink for me, alright? Just a little one. You probably haven’t had anything to drink in a while, huh?” he asks and Nicky feels the warm press of Joe’s hand against the back of his head, cradling it as the bottle gently nudges against his lower lip.

Nicky drinks slowly, listening to Joe’s soft murmurs of encouragement, the steady feeling of panic slowly melting away the longer he focuses on Joe’s voice, his steady and even tone, the words nonsensical and not important—the vibrations against Nicky’s back and the expansion of Joe’s chest with each breath giving him something to focus on other than the panic that had steadily been building up inside him since the end of the scene.

“You’re doing great, Nicky,” Joe murmurs, placing the bottle aside and shifting them on the bed until they’re laying down. “We’ll talk about this later, but why don’t you close your eyes again? Just focus on the sound of my voice. I’m not going to let you go until you feel ready, alright?”

A hum leaves Nicky’s mouth, soft and distant, but he does what Joe says, closing his eyes and letting the heat of Joe against him, the sturdiness of his arms, lull him into a light doze, something he easily wakes himself up from sometime later, to the sound of Joe speaking quietly on the phone behind him.

“—I couldn’t just _leave_ him there, he was dropping Nile, you said he looked out of it when you were doing the wrap-up photos.” A pause and then Joe laughs quietly, “Call me a bleeding heart all you want. It _hurts_ to see someone so improperly taken care of after an intense scene.” Another laugh that tapers off into silence, “Uh huh, sure. I’d do it again in a heartbeat too. No one deserves to be left alone when they’re dropping.”

Nicky shifts in Joe’s arms, feels _lighter_ now that he’s had time to sleep off _whatever_ it was and he hears Joe tell Nile that he’s hanging up before the room goes quiet again and Joe’s hand goes to his hair, fingers combing through it slowly, “Nicky?”

“Yes,” Nicky mumbles, still somewhat out of it, letting his head rest against the bed for another moment before he goes to push himself up; Joe’s hands steady on his arms as he helps. “Joe, right?” he asks, bringing a hand up to rub at his eyes, wiping away the last traces of his nap from them.

Joe sits as well, close to Nicky with one hand resting warmly between his shoulder blades, “It’s a shame we couldn’t have met under better circumstances,” Joe says when Nicky looks at him expectantly. “Sorry. Well, I’m not really sorry, you were seriously dropping, and I don’t think you’d have been able to make it home safely like that.”

Nicky flushes a little, knots his fingers together in his lap, “I honestly didn’t expect to drop. I just. I’ve been in another scene where I did, afterwards and it was a lot more than this one was but,” he pauses, shrugging a little. “I thank you though, for being kind enough to stay with me. Even if I do feel a little mortified that you had to see me like that.”

“Hey, hey no,” Joe says, rubbing Nicky’s back, his hand warm and firm over his shirt, “You were having a rough time and aftercare is very important.” He bites his lip, “Talk to Andy, she’s a really good friend of mine and the reason she started this company was to give people a safe place to do this. If the guy you shot with didn’t have the decency to at least stay and make sure you were okay, then he doesn’t need to be a part of this company.”

Nicky groans a little, bringing his hands up to hide his face, “Oh no, Andy,” he mumbles. “The other guy was from another company. This was a sort of collaboration thing for the two companies? Their best model and…me…” he says, peeking over at Joe. “But, for the sake of not having a repeat, I’ll mention it to her when I see her tomorrow.”

Joe smiles, “Good,” he says, “I don’t want to overstep, and I wouldn’t say anything unless I had your explicit permission, but this is definitely something Andy needs to know.”

“I know,” Nicky mumbles, letting his hands drop back to his lap. “I guess I need to get myself together and get home,” he says. “I’ve got a solo shoot tomorrow and a few non-video things to do as well.” He slowly gets off the bed, pressing his toes against the floor, the feel of cool wood flooring grounding him and clearing his head. “I really do appreciate your help,” he says, turning to face Joe, who is still sitting on the bed. “Maybe we’ll see each other again?” he asks, somewhat hopeful.

“Well,” Joe says, getting off the bed as well, standing in front of Nicky, “If I’m not too bold, maybe we could go get dinner sometime? When our schedules line up, of course.” He reaches out, taking Nicky’s hand. “I’d like to see you again.”

Biting his lip, Nicky looks at Joe, “And me doing porn doesn’t bother you?” he asks, hesitantly. “Because even if we do go to dinner, if this becomes something more. I’m not going to stop doing it.” He waits for the rejection, for Joe to let go of his hand and stutter through an apology, a _I’m sorry, it’s not you, it’s me_ … sort of deal but. It never comes.

Joe grins, steps closer to Nicky, his other hand coming up to cradle Nicky’s cheek, “I’d never deny the world your beauty,” he whispers, “No matter how you choose to share it with them,” he presses a kiss to Nicky’s forehead and Nicky’s heart skips a beat.

“I’ve got a clear schedule Saturday,” Nicky says in one breath. “If you want to meet then? I also have a clear schedule Sunday…if you wanted to. Spend the night.”

Joe hums low and pleased, squeezing Nicky’s hand, “I’ll pack a bag,” he murmurs. “Give me your number and we’ll talk about this later. Once you’ve gone home and slept. Still see if you want me to spend the night once you’ve got a clear mind.”

Nicky’s eyes flutter closed when Joe presses another kiss to his forehead and he recites his number off as Joe keeps him close, something warm and happy settling over him.

Nicky’s phone vibrates noisily against a table and they pull apart, “I’ll text you when I get home,” he says, “And call you tomorrow? Or. Maybe I’ll see you again?”

Joe smiles and winks at Nicky, “I’m on the clock until six tomorrow, but yes, I’ll be here. If your shoot runs a little late that’s fine. My office is on this floor at the end of the hall, so come find me when you’re done, and we can talk more face-to-face.”

“Until tomorrow,” Nicky says, the slow bubble of hope building up inside him. “Bye Joe,” he says, almost a whisper, a dopey smile on his face as Joe echoes the sentiment, just as soft.

When he reaches the safety of his apartment and he’s had a moment to shower and pull himself together, he sits down for a warm meal and texts Joe, his phone lighting up several minutes later.

_See you tomorrow <3 _

And well, Nicky’s never been too lucky with relationships since he started his career a few years ago, but something about this, about _Joe_ , makes him all the more hopeful that things could actually work out.


End file.
